Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Daddy Edward has to wait six weeks for sex after Bella has a baby. Poor thing. LOL! AH, O/S, M for orneriness

In this hilarious One-Shot, Bella and Edward are celebrating the birth of their first daughter, Elizabeth Mae. Bella and Edward are surrounded by family to help welcome the new baby home. During the welcome home celebrations, Edward is approached by his brothers, Emmett and Jasper. Emmett informs Edward that is sex life is now officially over.

"Congratulations, Edward, your sex life is now officially over," Emmett yelled as he smacked me hard on the back while I tried to hand him a cigar with pink wrapping on it.
"Shut up," I muttered under my breath as I handed a cigar to Jasper.
"Yep, your dick is going to shrivel up and fall off," Emmett, my shit-for-brains brother, said before he and Jasper started laughing their asses off. Fuckers.
"Bella and I had an amazing sex life before the baby, and we will have an amazing sex life after the baby," I stated with suave and debonair confidence. Then my voice faltered for a second, "I just have to somehow make it through these next six weeks…."
Surely I can sweet talk Bella into a few blow jobs….
By this time, Emmett was laughing so hard he was bent over double gasping for air, and Jasper was wiping tears from his eyes.
"Sure, keep telling yourself that, Edward," Emmett choked out in between loud guffaws.
"You assholes don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled as I lit up my cigar and took a puff.
"Well, Edward, I really shouldn't comment since I'm the only single man here with a hot girlfriend that I get to fuck anytime, anywhere, but I have to side with Emmett on this one. He does have two kids, after all," Jasper added.
"Whatever," I grumbled, staring at my cigar.

So, what do you think? Do you think that Edward’s sex life is headed down the drain? Do you think Edward will be able to convince Bella into giving him a couple of blow jobs until she is given the green light to resume their wonderful life?

Well, I’m not about to spill the beans on this One-Shot. You need to read this one for yourself and you won’t be disappointed. This One-Shot is hilarious. I could not stop laughing while reading this. This is a definite must read!



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